Self

By Haven Lindsey  in  blog  on  04.24.2021

The Little Blonde-haired Girl with Blue Eyes

was born a Cinderella

the one who didn’t belong

but after all the deaths the truth survived

about being the constant reminder

a little girl at fault just for being there

Lessons from the Universe

are gifts disguised as pain

growth veiled as turmoil

potential buried under angst

but you have to unwrap the packaging to see what’s inside

not everyone wants to see

you stop at the pain because opening it hurts

you stop at the turmoil because you don’t want to try

you stop at the angst because you don’t want to know why it’s there

the gifts come in packages that hurt to open

if you open the package

all the goodness inside belongs to you

if you don’t open it you stay stuck with the pain

and that belongs to you too

 

The Universe

she took my security

because that’s what I feared losing most

she took him too

he had just learned to drive

there is nothing friendly about friendly fire

she took the man I loved

and replaced him with a liar

who believed what he was saying

and charmed others to believe him too

she was patient as I futilely tried to fix him

and me

and us

she kept taking

relentless she took my school, my job, my pets

she took my home

I thought she had taken my future so I gave her my will

I thought that was what she wanted

and when I tried to walk through the EXIT

she closed it before I made it through

 

Lessons from the Universe

she was telling me

and I couldn’t hear

she was showing me

and I couldn’t see

she kept giving me the gifts wrapped in the painful packages

so I finally trusted her and started prying them open

the packaging hurt and tears fell from the

fear

pain

grief

neglect

apathy

betrayal

and repeat, repeat, repeat

but I started to understand that the packaging was just packaging

the pain on the outside wasn’t what I was finding on the inside

I decided to believe in me and it was hard

until one day it wasn’t

I started to trust in the Universe and it was hard

until one day it wasn’t

and then I reached the well deep within me

the one that she was trying to show me all along

I opened it and let out

so much light it blinded the jealous

so much strength it intimidated the weak

so much love it scared the small

so much richness the misers’ ran

so much freedom it released the pain

so much happiness it attracted more

and more

and more

all the painful packaging was just painful packaging

if you don’t open the package all you have is the pain

 

The Little Blonde-haired Girl with Blue Eyes

transformed from the unwanted reminder

to a kind, compassionate woman who has

a heart filled with love, a mind filled with gratitude

and the rewards from all the gifts delivered in the painful packages

and she wakes up happy