Darkness
in blog on 10.03.2022

I’ve noticed your return
like a cloak slowly enveloping me
I feel the weight transfer to my shoulders
I’ve wondered if you would return
and truth be told, I always thought you would
I can see why you chose to visit me now
you’re savvy and recognize all the uncertainties in my life
vulnerabilities that would have burdened me before
I’m aware of them too but this time I’ve chosen not to feed them
sorry to disappoint but I’m not going to feed you either
because this time I’m not broken
not like before
nothing will ever break me like before
I learned from all of that breaking
and struggling
and suffering
my ego had a field day back then playing the victim
she had her day in the spotlight – lots of days
she won’t get to wallow there again
so the answer is no this time around
you ruled me all those years ago
but not now
you can’t define me
your power isn’t as potent as before
I appreciate what you’ve taught me
I respect you and recognize the feelings you bring
and I learned from your gifts the first time around
it’s okay that you’ve decided to stop by
but you aren’t as welcome now as you once were
I’m not afraid of you
you don’t own me
stay as long as you need but I suggest you lower your expectations
it won’t work this time.