I’ve noticed your return

like a cloak slowly enveloping me

I feel the weight transfer to my shoulders

I’ve wondered if you would return

and truth be told, I always thought you would

I can see why you chose to visit me now

you’re savvy and recognize all the uncertainties in my life

vulnerabilities that would have burdened me before

I’m aware of them too but this time I’ve chosen not to feed them

sorry to disappoint but I’m not going to feed you either

because this time I’m not broken

not like before

nothing will ever break me like before

I learned from all of that breaking

and struggling

and suffering

my ego had a field day back then playing the victim

she had her day in the spotlight – lots of days

she won’t get to wallow there again

so the answer is no this time around

you ruled me all those years ago

but not now

you can’t define me

your power isn’t as potent as before

I appreciate what you’ve taught me

I respect you and recognize the feelings you bring

and I learned from your gifts the first time around

it’s okay that you’ve decided to stop by

but you aren’t as welcome now as you once were

I’m not afraid of you

you don’t own me

stay as long as you need but I suggest you lower your expectations

it won’t work this time.